But before this blog gets permanently struck off Google and banished to the Internet Siberia reserved for such things, we want to state that the Sony Ericsson Jalou – or at least the marketing guff that’s being populated around it – is 100%, unadulterated sexist tosh. Simple as that.

Why can we say this with such certainty? Well, read these extracts from the press release and other promotional materials released along with the Sony Ericsson Jalou.

“Packed with unique features and encased in a beautiful facet-cut jewel form, it is a stylish addition to any handbag….”

“Sony Ericsson’s latest style statement is only 73mm long – shorter than your favourite lipstick…”

“Never mind a signature necklace or oversized shades; Jalou is the perfect accessory…”

Absolute gold dust. Now, you might not see it yourself. Fair enough, but there’s probably a reason for that, and that reason is that you ain’t a chick. Show this to a female and see what her reaction is. Then ask her if she’d ever consider buying this phone. Then laugh at the colourful language of her response.

All of which is a bit of a shame, really, because it’s not – as this Sony Ericsson Jalou review shows – as if the Jalou is a bad phone. It’s not a great phone, far from it, but if you like things that look a little bit different, or just want a dinky little phone that does the basics well, then this could be just what you need.

What you don’t need is a bunch of male marketing goons fresh out of Rugby club at Bristol uni telling you that all you’re interested in is handbags, lipstick, shopping and how you look. Not convinced this is the case? Just look at the travesty that is the video below.

Now if you would excuse us, we have to go and burns some bras… Wait, that’s another word that’s going to make Google hate us. God damn it…

1 – Proprietary technologies. In the past: Sony’s own brand of memory cards and headphones could be plugged into their handsets. The Sony Ericsson xperia X3 lets you use microSD cards and plug whatever the hell you want into the 3.5mm jack socket.

2 – Windows Mobile. The X3 is going to be SE’s first ever Google Android phone. And they’ve re-skinned it to look absolutely even more delicious than it already way. (See the video below). Yum

And in one fell swoop… or two swoops, actually, they’ve fixed. Whoop! So we just can’t wait for this thing to be released. There’s a Sony Ericsson Xperia X3 review to look at, or these Sony Ericsson Xperia X3 deals to peruse in the meantime, but annoyingly there’s no actual release date for the thing yet. We’ll pin our ears back and keep you posted though…

“…the large 2.2” screen shows off websites in all their glory.”

“The sophisticated Sony Ericsson design means the Sony Ericsson T715 will look at home wherever you are, whether it’s at an important business meeting or if you are joining your friends for lunch.”

We could go on, but those two examples are enough. Since when was a 2.2 inch screen anything remotely close to large? Okay, when since 2003 has a 2.2 inch screen etc. and so on. And, holding this 14mm chunk of unashamed plastic in our hands, turning it over, peering into its screen, squeezing it a little, we have to say that we have still not seen one ounce of sophistication in it yet. We’re not looking at a bad phone, far from it, but we are not, no matter what the language corrupters at Sony Ericsson HQ claim, looking at anything even remotely sophisticated. Anyway, that’s all the griping we have inside us today. Check out this Sony Ericsson T715 review for a more considered response, or waste a minute of your life on this ridiculous promo video instead.

One of the main things that’s being touted about the Sony Ericsson Satio, in fact is that it favours no media. With unique standby panels existing on the full touchscreen menu, you can get direct access to what you need at the tap of a finger. Whether that’s music or video playing, HD an 3D gaming, online browsing or downloading, or of course that camera, it’s all equally accessible. There’s also an 8GB microSD card and some stereo headphones included (very rare with other manufacturers), so clearly Sony Ericssion want you to be enjoying this thing from the moment it comes out of the box.

But while the old saying goes, Jack of all trades, master of none, we think that’s far from applicable here as this thing masters just about everything it attempts. It might not be the smallest or slimmest smartphone out there, but for sheer wealth of options, slick design, lovely screen and all the rest, the Sony Ericsson Satio looks like it’s going to be a cracker. Check out a full Sony Ericsson Satio review here, or have a little look at the video below.

The first thing to say as warning though is that, if you don’t have Playstation 3, you might not get as much out of this phone as would make it worthwhile keep tabs on. If you do, however, have a PS3, then this could be about the best choice you’ve ever made. And here’s a few very important reasons why:

• Remote Play – You know all that music, all those photos, and all that other guff you’ve got saved onto the vaguely generous PS3 of yours? Well, now you can access it all directly using the Sony Ericsson Aino. That’s right, whether you’re at home and hooked up to the computer via a local network, or hanging out with some monkeys in a jungle in Cambodia, you can now access all the stuff saved on your PS3 on your phone. As long as that jungle has decent Wi-Fi, of course.
• PlayTVservice – All those certain free TV channels you can watch via your PS3?… Yep, you guessed it, these can now be streamed straight through the ickle screen on the Aino. So now you can watch Neighbours with all those monkeys. They won’t know what they’ve been missing.
• Media Home – Something for everyone here – a way of Synchronising your PC (not just your PS3) with your phone to make sure you’ve everything you want with you, whichever jungle you find yourself in.
• Media Go – A nifty way to watch and organise all your home computer media files using the Aino as some kind of touchscreen remote control.

So, a bit of simple maths to finish. PS3 + Aino = A very happy you. Not got a PS3, then this might be one to avoid, as even though it’s got as much going for it as any other smartphone, it’s bulkier than most out there, and the screen’s not quite as big or impressive as some of those Samsung’s that have been hitting the news recently. Read a fuller Sony Ericsson Aino review here, or spend a couple of minutes in the company of this video for more of a sense of what this thing can do.

The Telegraph states that the primary camera is a 12MP one giving you the best of the picture quality. Subsidiary features include: autofocus, smile and blink detection and a Xenon flash. The LED flash is meant for video recording purposes only. The secondary camera is at the front for 3G video calls purpose.

The operating system uses the latest technology; the 1st version of Symbian Foundation which is developed based on the S60 5th edition. The touchscreen is of 3.5megapixels and comes with an accelerometer sensor. This phone is 5mm thick. It supports 850/900/1800/1900MHz on GSM and 900/2100MHz on 3G HSDPA. The phone book supports the photo calling feature while enabling unlimited amount of numbers to be saved in the phone. Memory capacity can be expanded with the use of microSD slot. With Sony Ericsson Idou, now you have the freedom to connect your mobile phone to other media devices at home such as the TV, PC and HiFi sound system.
Idou is expected to be released within the 2nd half of this year. And when it is released, it will be branded under the Sony Ericsson’s Entertainment Unlimited label.
If you’re looking for a way to purchase this phone once it’s released, Sony Ericsson Idou contracts is the easiest and the most beneficial as they will not only allow you to pay the price little by little but also provide you with ideal tariffs that you’re looking for. Some Sony Ericsson Idou deals will even pamper you with free gifts such as accessories to go with your phone, other technological items, etc. The Idou deals and contract phones are a smart way to own a latest mobile phone. Do not hesitate to check out other mobile phone contracts available for Sony Ericsson.