But before this blog gets permanently struck off Google and banished to the Internet Siberia reserved for such things, we want to state that the Sony Ericsson Jalou – or at least the marketing guff that’s being populated around it – is 100%, unadulterated sexist tosh. Simple as that.

Why can we say this with such certainty? Well, read these extracts from the press release and other promotional materials released along with the Sony Ericsson Jalou.

“Packed with unique features and encased in a beautiful facet-cut jewel form, it is a stylish addition to any handbag….”

“Sony Ericsson’s latest style statement is only 73mm long – shorter than your favourite lipstick…”

“Never mind a signature necklace or oversized shades; Jalou is the perfect accessory…”

Absolute gold dust. Now, you might not see it yourself. Fair enough, but there’s probably a reason for that, and that reason is that you ain’t a chick. Show this to a female and see what her reaction is. Then ask her if she’d ever consider buying this phone. Then laugh at the colourful language of her response.

All of which is a bit of a shame, really, because it’s not – as this Sony Ericsson Jalou review shows – as if the Jalou is a bad phone. It’s not a great phone, far from it, but if you like things that look a little bit different, or just want a dinky little phone that does the basics well, then this could be just what you need.

What you don’t need is a bunch of male marketing goons fresh out of Rugby club at Bristol uni telling you that all you’re interested in is handbags, lipstick, shopping and how you look. Not convinced this is the case? Just look at the travesty that is the video below.

Now if you would excuse us, we have to go and burns some bras… Wait, that’s another word that’s going to make Google hate us. God damn it…